These shoes are freezing...

Been at work the last two days. I work for a large metropolitan ambulance service which is some distance from where I live. I won't say which service because if I relate tales about patients and crews, I don't want to get into the whole patient confidentiality thing. I stay back at my parents when I'm working, which is enough to drive anyone insane (Nothing was ever proved..).

Got to work about 6PM and took over the car from the day turn. I work alone on a reponse car. we're like sharks, continuously swimming waiting to feed on other peoples misfortunes.

Anyhow, todays anecdote concerns a call to a young man. Call given as passed out after cutting his thumb. "Oh for fuck sake", I thought. With that the brain switched off, the lights switched on and I made the short run to the address. "If only people knew what I was going to", I thought as cars pulled out off the way of my speeding, one ton singing christmas tree as I shot past. Pulled up, kitted up and walked into the block. I was beckoned in by a frantic looking lady. Moving inside I was taken aback. At first look it looked like the punter had been gutshot. Easily 500mls of blood on the wood floor and the punter lying in it. Turns out he was a bit pissed and was being a bit of a cock. I dressed it and put him on a bit of o2. Nothing more remarkable. The crew arrived and chaired him to the Amb. Somewhere in this I ended up with the punters shoes (you can see where this is going, can't you..?). I put the shoes on the roof of the car and stowed my gear. Then forgetting the shoes, went to the amb to help out. I wasn't required gave the punter a cheery goodbye and left. An hour later I get a call from the control room asking if I've got these shoes. Shoes! Bollocks! I sheepishly admit I left them on the roof and drove off. "Go back and find them then...."

I drive the three miles back to the location and have a look around. Nothing. Then, as I go to get back in the car, there, behind the lightbar on the roof, the shoes are still there where I left them! I'd been driving round at speed for miles and they were still there! There's grip for you. Gonna get Nikes next time!

I get back to the Hospital and find the punter, who's still acting up and give him his shoes. "Where you been?" he spits at me. "Working, busy night"

He puts a foot in and says, "These shoes are freezing, you leave them outside?"

"On the roof actually"

"CXXX!" he shouts at my receeding back.

It's the little things that make you laugh.